Voci Patris (Voice of the father)

Where is the voice of the father in our culture? Does the father even have a voice here anymore? Where is he? Where did he go?

Fathers today find themselves in uncharted waters. As partners, we are being asked to be in relationship in fundamentally different ways than our fathers were just a short generation ago. As dads, we are now being asked to engage with our children in entirely new and more meaningful ways. Where are the voices of fathers leading the way? Where are the mentors and the role models? Who is making the new way toward authentic fatherhood? Who bears the responsibility for carving the new paths?

As a man, I get it when asked to be a hero: I see soldiers and athletes of all stripes leading the way. (As they have for generations.) When asked to be successful in business or politics, I get it. I see those who have gone before and I know that whatever success I have rests upon their shoulders.

But when I need to find the way as a father, where do I turn? To whom do I look? What ground do I put my ear to?  Kings, warriors, heroes, lovers – a man has cultural underpinning for all of these. Their voices are heard on all of those fronts (for better or worse) in the culture and throughout history.

And I find that there is a place in my heart and in my head for all of them.  But what about the father? Where are the great paternal traditions in our culture? Where are our role models leading way toward deep fatherhood? Who is teaching us and telling us the stories that light the way? Where is the voci patris – the voice of the father – the authentic father – in the world?